The Meter -- Where Did They Dig Him Up?

So the folks over at Wonkette are all bent out of shape because Rich Little was hired to be the entertainment at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Hey, it can't be cutting edge all of the time. Besides, between Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Lewis Black, I don't think there is any Daily Show talent that hasn't been tapped for one of these things. John Hodgman? Maybe--but he's too busy being a sick and somewhat lame PC. But still: Rich Little?

Anyway, this is of no importance. It's only good for a two minute snip (if that) on a Sunday network newscast. And anything becomes funny if you're drunk enough--not a problem, I suppose, for snarky bloggers.

Well then.

Tony Snow (and White House flackers): 2. Here's the latest remix on the "oh, yeah?" refrain from the White House:

There's going to be a lot of dissent, we have acknowledged that all along. And, as a matter of fact, it's important to debate this and also to debate the proposition if, as most Democrats who have visited the President and most we've heard from, want to succeed in Iraq, if you think there's an alternative way to do it, you can really help your country by putting it forward.

OK. Here's what should happen. If the President drops a line like this in his State of the Union speech one week from now, the Dems should go up to the Clerk's desk, take the Iraq Study Group report, a report drawn up by Congressional Democrats last year, S.121 (from Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.), asking the Secretaries of Defense and State to go back to the drawing board and come up with a "flexible" withdrawal date based on conditions; available through the Library of Congress); S.287 (the Ted Kennedy (D-Mahhss.) bill--dropped on Friday, no text yet from the LoC), whatever embryonic legislation that exists from Sen. Carl Levin (D-Mich.), Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) and whoever else that's out there... and just drop it on the desk, right in front of him. Right in the middle of the speech. Hilarity will ensue.

Barack Obama: 5. So you're in! Tell me something that I don't know. (Oh, and while I'm here: thanks for not asking for money in the Christmas card you sent me. Nice of you. Also: love the decor in your pad. Very Frank Lloyd Wright. Sweet.)

David Wu: 2. Here's the thing, Dave. We need America to think that the Democratic Party is actually not populated by insane people. (It would also help America to know that Oregonians as a group are not nuts. A boost to those who don't believe that all 50 states are on board, you know.) A tip: if you ever get the notion again that there are fake Klingons in the White House, keep it to yourself. Many thanks in advance.

(Oh, one more thing: the last guy to reference Star Trek on the House floor is now in jail. Totally unrelated incidents led to his expulsion from the House, of course. But still.)

The Meter -- Past Interference

You back for more? OK.

Steny "100 Hour Man" Hoyer: 3. Wow. That five-day work-week thing lasted, well, not one week.

"[Q.] On the Tuesday schedule, I have had one Member come up to me during our discussion and wanted me to ask if there is any possibility that 3 to 4 votes could slip closer to 5 just because of a number of travel concerns that Members have, particularly west coast members.

"Mr. HOYER. We could try. But let me say in all fairness, our original intent was to meet and have votes at 6:30 on Monday. There is a very important event happening Monday night, particularly for those who live in Ohio and Florida."

Good. The business of the nation takes a back seat to a damn football game. And a contrived one too, so as to avoid the logical conclusion of an honest-to-God playoff system and to make the guys in the cream-colored coats happy.

The White House: 2. Cue the barf bags. The President will give his address at 2100 (ET) on Wednesday. What, pray tell, will he do the next day? Tony Snow--hit me, brother!

"Scheduling announcement: The President will travel to Fort Benning, Georgia, on Thursday. He'll visit with troops and make a statement to the press. We'll give you more details as they become available.

"With that, I'll take questions. Terry."

Actually, it's Tom, but thanks. Does the President think this photo-op is going to actually do anything to help his position? Or is it just to boost his ego?

"MR. SNOW: I don't know; ask me in four years -- or maybe two years. What you're asking is -- you're asking a look-back question, rather than a look-forward question --

"Q No, I'm asking you a look-forward question.

"MR. SNOW: Well, but a look-forward question is the President believes it's important to address the situation in Iraq in a manner that he thinks is going to be effective, that's going to make this country, our country, more secure in the war on terror, by addressing violence and uncertainty in the central front in the war on terror. Make no mistake, Iraq is it. Therefore, rather than saying, well, this is the last big speech -- this is the President's proposal for moving forward in a way that he believes is going to be conducive to producing the results."

Reason No. 47 Why Corporatespeak Sucks....

[Snip from press conference real, but taken wildly out of context. Which makes the match-up really freakin' scary.]