The Meter -- It's Miller Time!

You know, this was the wrong week to start a blog. Work was hell. I'm beat. But, with the Congress back in Democratic hands--let's call it a soft landing.

(Yes. This was also the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. You don't need to tell me that.)

That whole "the President's reading your mail" business: 5. Maybe I'm becoming desensitized to the domestic spying programs thing. But at least I have an answer as to why the post office took over a week to deliver Christmas cards to me. True: one card I got on December twenty-freaking-eighth was postmarked on December 15. Now I have a reason. It's nice to have an explanation.

The new bosses in the Congress: 9. Pelosi & Reid To Bush: Drop Dead. The New York Daily News has to make that their headline tomorrow. It would be apropos, and would be personally appreciated--I have Jerry Ford Withdrawal Syndrome. (There's gotta be a pill for that, right?)

Condi Rice: 4. Meanwhile, another warning has been issued to North Korea. When asked for comment, Kim Jong-Il said: "Wait, someone's asking me to comment? That never happens! Who let that fishwrap hack in here? GUARDS!!" Then he turned and went for another brandy. (Lucky for him, he has the last working sideboard in the entire nation. That must be handy.)

Sidebar: Who would have thought that working the DMZ, facing a fanatical nuclear enemy, would become one of the plushest jobs for your average Army infantryman?

"You can go and serve your country in Iraq, or Afghanistan. Or you can be assigned to a fence where you stare at a guy across the fence for twelve hours and then go home. So, do you want to be assigned to Kor--"

"Yes."

[Wait. Oh, I'm sorry. I have just been informed that the plushest job in the Army is working security at the Inn at Schofield Barracks, centrally located on the island of Oahu, close to the relaxing beaches and surrounded by natural beauty. You will be welcomed with the spirit of "Aloha!" And hundreds of the finest and most satisfied Army personnel you will ever hope to meet.]